Coming Home Again

September 24, 2010

I sorta avoided my widow status for almost a year. I passed my five year anniversary in August and now I am ready to be back. Back filled with hope for the future. A dear friend suggested not long ago that I re-focus on other aspects of my life and allow the widow identity to [...]

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The Grief Show : Ted’s Widows

August 31, 2009

Events trigger grief. Old grief dormant for some time and then, wham, a news event activates feelings, thoughts, and memories long tucked away. Joan and Vicky both widowed. VIcky, a possible stand in for Ted’s senate seat, that is, if the state gets into gear. Joan’s private addiction once again surfacing. And, the review of [...]

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Anniversary day…

August 10, 2009

The anniversary day of the loss of a love. August 10th is my anniversary day of the loss of Rob. Honoring the day…not morbid, just something one marks after the loss of a love. But, how to do it? Today I marked the anniversary by text messaging my three girls just to remind them that [...]

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Gawkers Welcome: King of Pop–Pariah–Saint

June 27, 2009

People love a train wreck. MJ’s life resembles a train wreck and now people are gathering over the wreckage. Why is it when someone dies, no matter WHO they might have been in life, everyone wants part of the action? I remember telling my girls on the eve of my late husband’s memorial: let’s preserve [...]

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Happiness Boot Camp Begins Fall 09

June 25, 2009

Stay tuned for further details ! Get ready to build those POSITIVITY muscles so when NEGATIVITY HITS (it always does) you will have a reservoir of GOOD JUJU to call on…

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Pain is inevitable, suffering optional

June 22, 2009

My current “read” is Curious ? by Todd Kashdan, PhD. I “whoop” at various moments when reading ( that’s a good sign) and I am mulling over a couple of ideas in particular. The first is a definition of happiness attributed to the Dali Lama which essentially suggests that happiness is the ability to embrace life [...]

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Widows: Reach out through the Despair !

May 6, 2009

One of the motivations behind this blog was my own despair I experienced as a widow. The crushing silence, the words left unspoken, the aloneness at times was overwhelming . I was in an fortunate/unfortunate as a member of the mental health community, people assumed I had support. Unfortunately, I was hesitant to “burn out” [...]

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Mini Meltdowns…oh, yeah !

January 27, 2009

My youngest daughter introduced me to the concept of mini meltdowns a couple of years ago. Of course I had been having them for all of my life, but the label really helps. I think we all recognize a mini meltdown, that feeling of the blood leaving your head, that weird feeling in the stomach, [...]

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Ah, How I Love a New Year !

January 2, 2009

I am sure it’s a myth, or another of my denial mechanisms, but the New Year always makes me feel giddy. I mean, anything is possible. On New Year’s Eve I spend time (some times lots of time) writing out my resentments and “bad feelings” about things, people, and events that seem to eat away [...]

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Widows, get a coach !

December 23, 2008

Just prior to my late husband’s death, I hired a coach. I had been a licensed psychologist for years, worked with psychologist’s both personally and professionally, but fell in love with positive psychology. Positive psychology has become the domain for coaches and so, I researched coaching programs and coaches and selected a wonderful life coach [...]

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