Comments for Do Not Grieve Alone.com http://donotgrievealone.com Happiness Boot Camp For Those In Transition Wed, 02 Sep 2009 04:04:15 +0000 hourly 1 Comment on Anniversary day… by Felisha Wheeler http://donotgrievealone.com/2009/08/10/anniversary-day/comment-page-1/#comment-628 Felisha Wheeler Wed, 02 Sep 2009 04:04:15 +0000 http://donotgrievealone.com/?p=104#comment-628 Nice to read about you and how you have handled yourself even after losing someone special. Nice to read about you and how you have handled yourself even after losing someone special.

]]> Comment on Pain is inevitable, suffering optional by Mary http://donotgrievealone.com/2009/06/22/pain-is-inevitable-suffering-optional/comment-page-1/#comment-604 Mary Sun, 12 Jul 2009 03:34:57 +0000 http://donotgrievealone.com/?p=93#comment-604 Beth, I've been enjoying your blog. This one hits home. While I do feel joy is a part of my every day life it is shadowed by a sense of loss and sadness. After visiting with my dad over the 4th I came to the realization that he will never change and that in not changing he has missed out on so much. I will never have a close relationship with him and when I'm in his presence I pretend to be interested in what he has to say even though I'm screaming 'Shut the F*ck UP!!!' in my head. How could he have gone through his life and not even known his own children? Or even cared what they thought? The only reason he cares about me is that I carry his genes to his posterity. I am a means to an end. Eh... I can't control what he does or doesn't do, I can only be responsible for my own happiness... He is part of what made me and that's not so bad... If I hadn't had such a rotten releationship with him I wouldn't have worked so hard on my relationship with my kids. Thanks bending an ear. Thanks for the interesting blog! Mary Beth,
I’ve been enjoying your blog. This one hits home. While I do feel joy is a part of my every day life it is shadowed by a sense of loss and sadness. After visiting with my dad over the 4th I came to the realization that he will never change and that in not changing he has missed out on so much. I will never have a close relationship with him and when I’m in his presence I pretend to be interested in what he has to say even though I’m screaming ‘Shut the F*ck UP!!!’ in my head. How could he have gone through his life and not even known his own children? Or even cared what they thought? The only reason he cares about me is that I carry his genes to his posterity. I am a means to an end. Eh… I can’t control what he does or doesn’t do, I can only be responsible for my own happiness… He is part of what made me and that’s not so bad… If I hadn’t had such a rotten releationship with him I wouldn’t have worked so hard on my relationship with my kids. Thanks bending an ear. Thanks for the interesting blog!
Mary

]]> Comment on Gawkers Welcome: King of Pop–Pariah–Saint by Kathy | Virtual Impax http://donotgrievealone.com/2009/06/27/gawkers-welcome-king-of-pop-pariah-saint/comment-page-1/#comment-600 Kathy | Virtual Impax Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:44:17 +0000 http://donotgrievealone.com/?p=101#comment-600 As a native Hoosier who is only a few years younger than the King of Pop, Micheal Jackson's death seems to have struck a real chord with me. I think your description "tormented soul" is a very accurate description. It is my prayer that he has finally found the peace he so desperately sought. <abbr><em>Kathy | Virtual Impaxs last blog post..<a href="http://virtualimpax.com/2009/06/30/business-building-secret-people-pretty-smart/" rel="nofollow">Business Building Secret: People are actually pretty smart…</a></abbr></em> As a native Hoosier who is only a few years younger than the King of Pop, Micheal Jackson’s death seems to have struck a real chord with me.

I think your description “tormented soul” is a very accurate description. It is my prayer that he has finally found the peace he so desperately sought.

Kathy | Virtual Impaxs last blog post..Business Building Secret: People are actually pretty smart…

]]> Comment on Widows: Reach out through the Despair ! by Beth Waddel http://donotgrievealone.com/2009/05/06/widows-reach-out-through-the-despair/comment-page-1/#comment-598 Beth Waddel Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:08:08 +0000 http://donotgrievealone.com/?p=91#comment-598 deb, Oftentimes I wonder if people have really "forgotten" our lost loved one, or if they are afraid it they mention him we will suddenly remember our loss. As crazy as that sounds, I think some people actually do believe that talking about the loved one re-awakens our loss. (Crazy, for sure) Thankfully because of the internet there are other sources of support which are available online which may be more comfortable for you at this time. The support is crucial, however you get it. Taking time to be alone can be healing, but I know for me the isolation became toxic and my own despair became unsettling. Feel free to reach out to me. I would be happy to problem solve this with you. In the meantime, take care....there are many of us out there, honest. Beth deb,

Oftentimes I wonder if people have really “forgotten” our lost loved one, or if they are afraid it they mention him we will suddenly remember our loss. As crazy as that sounds, I think some people actually do believe that talking about the loved one re-awakens our loss. (Crazy, for sure)

Thankfully because of the internet there are other sources of support which are available online which may be more comfortable for you at this time.

The support is crucial, however you get it. Taking time to be alone can be healing, but I know for me the isolation became toxic and my own despair became unsettling.

Feel free to reach out to me. I would be happy to problem solve this with you.

In the meantime, take care….there are many of us out there, honest.

Beth

]]> Comment on Widows: Reach out through the Despair ! by Deb http://donotgrievealone.com/2009/05/06/widows-reach-out-through-the-despair/comment-page-1/#comment-597 Deb Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:42:02 +0000 http://donotgrievealone.com/?p=91#comment-597 I wish it was easy to reach out locally...this deep sadness can only be understood by someone else that has experienced it, as a pretty quiet shy individual I find it difficult to reach out, especially now 362 days from his passing and NO ONE seems to miss him but me and a few of my immediate family...it is a very long lonely journey, easy to be a hermit and although I know he would want me to go on, it is more difficult than I ever imagined... no children and a new location to be near some of my familly...alone amidst 400,000...never dreamed my life would be this... I wish it was easy to reach out locally…this deep sadness can only be understood by someone else that has experienced it, as a pretty quiet shy individual I find it difficult to reach out, especially now 362 days from his passing and NO ONE seems to miss him but me and a few of my immediate family…it is a very long lonely journey, easy to be a hermit and although I know he would want me to go on, it is more difficult than I ever imagined… no children and a new location to be near some of my familly…alone amidst 400,000…never dreamed my life would be this…

]]> Comment on Mini Meltdowns…oh, yeah ! by don http://donotgrievealone.com/2009/01/27/mini-meltdownsoh-yeah/comment-page-1/#comment-565 don Tue, 05 May 2009 21:16:01 +0000 http://donotgrievealone.com/?p=84#comment-565 yup so sorry to hear of your loss, but inspired by your message. Nanci Griffith sings, "It's a Hard Life, It's a Very Hard Life" Have a great trip. yup so sorry to hear of your loss, but inspired by your message. Nanci Griffith sings, “It’s a Hard Life, It’s a Very Hard Life” Have a great trip.

]]> Comment on Grievers : Make an Impact ! by Tina http://donotgrievealone.com/2007/12/05/grievers-make-an-impact/comment-page-1/#comment-564 Tina Fri, 01 May 2009 09:30:52 +0000 http://donotgrievealone.com/2007/12/05/grievers-make-an-impact/#comment-564 Dear Beth, I am newly widowed not even a month now and I don't know when my days begin and nights end it is such a blur. I am a young widow only 35 and not widowed once but twice. The first left behind three wonderful sons, and at that time I thought how will I ever get through this I was only 25, I also thought who would want a women with three children already, boy was I wrong God sent me the most wonderful man on earth, and he loved those boys as if they were his own and in their own loving way they were, since they were so young when their father past away. Well I and my wonderful husband went on to have two beautiful daughters. Now I am left once again alone with not three children but five to raise on my own, I don't know what to do. He was my soul mate, my best friend, the father of my children and my lover. I cry all the time. And I get so angry at everyone around me telling how sorry they are and they know how I feel, THEY DON'T. It's not like no other loss, and I am sure the loss of a child, a mother or a father would feel the same, their loss is unique to them, just think of my boys they have lost two fathers, and I can’t even imagine their pain. Sometimes I just want to scream out to everyone around me don’t you miss him; don’t you realize he’s never coming back, why don’t you feel the pain I do. Then I finally come to my senses and realize he was extra special to me, we shared things only we knew of, we knew each others wants and needs, dreams and hopes, and we shared each other like no other. Still Grieving, Tina <abbr><em>Tinas last blog post..<a href="http://donotgrievealone.com/2009/01/27/mini-meltdownsoh-yeah/" rel="nofollow">Mini Meltdowns…oh, yeah !</a></abbr></em> Dear Beth,

I am newly widowed not even a month now and I don’t know when my days begin and nights end it is such a blur. I am a young widow only 35 and not widowed once but twice. The first left behind three wonderful sons, and at that time I thought how will I ever get through this I was only 25, I also thought who would want a women with three children already, boy was I wrong God sent me the most wonderful man on earth, and he loved those boys as if they were his own and in their own loving way they were, since they were so young when their father past away. Well I and my wonderful husband went on to have two beautiful daughters. Now I am left once again alone with not three children but five to raise on my own, I don’t know what to do. He was my soul mate, my best friend, the father of my children and my lover. I cry all the time. And I get so angry at everyone around me telling how sorry they are and they know how I feel, THEY DON’T. It’s not like no other loss, and I am sure the loss of a child, a mother or a father would feel the same, their loss is unique to them, just think of my boys they have lost two fathers, and I can’t even imagine their pain. Sometimes I just want to scream out to everyone around me don’t you miss him; don’t you realize he’s never coming back, why don’t you feel the pain I do. Then I finally come to my senses and realize he was extra special to me, we shared things only we knew of, we knew each others wants and needs, dreams and hopes, and we shared each other like no other.

Still Grieving,

Tina

Tinas last blog post..Mini Meltdowns…oh, yeah !

]]> Comment on Mini Meltdowns…oh, yeah ! by Carlotta http://donotgrievealone.com/2009/01/27/mini-meltdownsoh-yeah/comment-page-1/#comment-563 Carlotta Wed, 22 Apr 2009 16:00:54 +0000 http://donotgrievealone.com/?p=84#comment-563 This is great info to know. This is great info to know.

]]> Comment on Mini Meltdowns…oh, yeah ! by cheryl http://donotgrievealone.com/2009/01/27/mini-meltdownsoh-yeah/comment-page-1/#comment-562 cheryl Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:28:08 +0000 http://donotgrievealone.com/?p=84#comment-562 dear beth, i am new to this blog, but wanted to tell you that what you wrote was an inspiration to me. and today i needed it. thank you. dear beth,

i am new to this blog, but wanted to tell you that what you wrote was an inspiration to me. and today i needed it. thank you.

]]> Comment on There Are No Happy Hermits ! by Umbrage, Part 2: “There Are No Happy Pcyhologists,” Declared the Happy Hermit (Though It Didn’t Really Matter) « Blog from a Hermit Dot Com http://donotgrievealone.com/2007/11/02/there-are-no-happy-hermits/comment-page-1/#comment-561 Umbrage, Part 2: “There Are No Happy Pcyhologists,” Declared the Happy Hermit (Though It Didn’t Really Matter) « Blog from a Hermit Dot Com Mon, 30 Mar 2009 03:53:01 +0000 http://donotgrievealone.com/2007/11/02/there-are-no-happy-hermits/#comment-561 [...] Dr. Peterson’s speciality, positive psychology, sounds great to me. It’s geared toward promoting what’s right with us rather than just trying to fix what’s wrong with us. I also realize Dr. Peterson’s “no happy hermits” statement is addressing the psychological dangers of social isolation - a valid point. But isolating and choosing solitude (temporarily or for longer periods) are two different behaviors and I think Psychologist Beth Waddell does a fair job of addressing those differences in her responsive post here. [...] [...] Dr. Peterson’s speciality, positive psychology, sounds great to me. It’s geared toward promoting what’s right with us rather than just trying to fix what’s wrong with us. I also realize Dr. Peterson’s “no happy hermits” statement is addressing the psychological dangers of social isolation – a valid point. But isolating and choosing solitude (temporarily or for longer periods) are two different behaviors and I think Psychologist Beth Waddell does a fair job of addressing those differences in her responsive post here. [...]

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