Okay, ready? The first step of the two- step to survive the holidays is to abandon all rules. We are cowgirls, remember? The only rule is to survive, with style. You do not have to decorate the house ( unless you want to ), you do not have to send our holiday cards (unless you want to ), you do not ( and should not ) wear those awful Christmas themed sweaters. You do not have to make sure that everyone receives a gift. You do not have to give gifts. You do not have to make anything for that matter. You do not have to go in to a mall. You do not have to mall order anything. You do not have to sing ONE song related to a holiday tradition. You do not have to open mail. You do not have to cook or clean. You do not have to spend days decorating your house with stuff you have had for 20 years. You do not have to put out the snow man ornament your chid made lovingly in 3rd grade. You do not have to make fudge, cookies, or divinity. The point to step one do it if you WANT to not because you feel you should. Cowgirls never “should” on themselves.
That’s step one.
Step two, you get to be the boss of your holiday. If you want to spend the time eating pizza in bed and and watching Nightmare on Elm Street, go for it. If you want to toss out Kenny G for the Eminem, have at it. If you want to decorate your house in multicolored lights because they make YOU feel happy, do it. If your neighbors volunteer to get you a tree ( fat chance) you can decline. If you want a tree AT ALL, go to the local store and get a fake tree. If you want to use ALL new and different ornaments haunt local thrift shops. If you want to sponsor a family and give THEM a holiday time do that. Make a holiday happen for someone else. Contact your local community food bank, social service agencies, and churches to aid families in need. Giving feels good!
The two-step is about ACKNOWLEDGING the automatic traditions that have run your life for years and deciding do I HAVE to do that? Now decide how to build a new and magical time by yourself, for yourself and with your family. ( Including WHO you choose to spend time with. This year give yourself permission to avoid the people affectionately known as “buzz kills.” I refer to this as playing “the widow card.”)
Include your children in your plans. Acknowledge that this time is different. Children love “different” and breaks with tradition. It’s a little sassy and a bit naughty. To attempt to recreate the past with a missing part of the posse will only create sadness, depression and an even bigger hole to dig yourself out of next year.
This year, approach the holidays as a Frontier Adventure. You will carve out new territory, learn new skills, buck tradition, and in the end will have a memorable experience. First, start laying out the map for Holiday Season 2010. ( A disclaimer, this piece references the only holiday traditions I am familiar with…apologies to those whose holidays embrace other practices.)
Head ‘em up, move ‘em out!
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