Events trigger grief. Old grief dormant for some time and then, wham, a news event activates feelings, thoughts, and memories long tucked away.
Joan and Vicky both widowed. VIcky, a possible stand in for Ted’s senate seat, that is, if the state gets into gear. Joan’s private addiction once again surfacing. And, the review of the widow in our culture re emerges and widows review how they their own personal cultures have treated them
There’s biblical reference to knowing a culture by how that culture treats widows and orphans. Undoubtedly, widows tally up, how DID my culture treat me? Was I embraced? Was I shuttled away? Did I become invisible? Did I matter?
It’s sorta cool to hear the pundits discuss Vicky’s possible entrance into the Senate even if for only a fleeting time. Imagine the thrill of being able to continue with the work which provided such a life force for her husband? Imagine being surrounded by the folks who played such an important role in her husband’s daily life: friends and foe alike.
And then, there’s Joan. Joan being reduced to the vanilla-extract-mouthwash swilling ex wife of Senator Ted. Joan who helped build Ted’s career, gave birth to his children, and who navigated the waters related to Mary Jo and that fateful night.
Two women, both widows, each being perceived by this culture in such dramatically different ways.
Yes, widows, this is a time of review for each of us. Old feelings surface, questions abound.
Remember do not go this alone. Now might be a grand time to reach out and process your own experience of how your culture either embraced or marginalized you in your role as widow.
Blog on,
Beth
