This entry was posted on Thursday, January 31st, 2008 at 6:19 pm and is filed under Life Enhancing Tips and How To's. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
My oldest daughter loved to paraphrase Nietzche when “bad things” happened” …”well, what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.”
I HATED that quote (still do, sorta).
In The How of Happiness, Lyubomirsky introduces the notion of Post Traumatic Growth. Neat concept.
We are all familiar with Post Traumatic Stress, but think about the “hope” the notion of Post Traumatic Growth conveys…so perhaps, old Nietzche was right…we can transform trauma into something that is beneficial…another phrase I dislike is making lemonade from lemons, but that’s just me, right? The idea is the same, take what we are served…and transform it/ transform ourselves.
So, the model is based on the notion the our Level of Functioning following a Life Challenge can change over time. At first we work just to SURVIVE: get up, manage our feelings, and do what is necessary, but with a great sense of loss . The next phase is RECOVERY doing what needs to be done and over time we return to our original level of functioning. Finally, THRIVING, where not only do we return to our original level of functioning, but indeed, we move beyond that. In the face of trauma we can TRANSFORMS. We can surpass our original level of functioning.
Like the Phoenix, we rise above the ashes of despair.
Please know that this process is not FAST. This is a process which takes as long as it takes.
Too, often people have ONE YEAR as the magic number…one year following divorce, loss of job, death…so, after one year if we are not transformed we wonder….WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME ! I remember talking to my coach frustrated that my process wasn’t faster. What am I doing wrong? She would be a voice of reality reminding me how much has happened, and what a short time had passed.
The important piece in all of this is that trauma, tragedy is not a “death sentence”, but that choice is up to us. We can either go down and stay down for the count, or we can work to find some “pearl” in the loss.
I have many people say to me, I want to be of service to other people who go through something like this, I want to make a contribution, make sense out of what has happened to me. I want someone to benefit from the loss I have experienced. I want to companion them as they go through this process.
Ah, so much hope…
Beth
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