For fun today, I googled “blogs for widows.” Much to my chagrin, there wasn’t much available. Originally when starting this blog, I viewed it as a home for all persons in transition. But, as the holidays approach, I am really “tuned in” to those of us who have experienced loss…family, death, change in circumstances. But, out of my affinity and identification with widows, this blog is dedicated to the “widows” among us, but the reasons apply to all who have experienced loss.
Reason One: The media communicates that holidays are happy, happy, happy family times. Yes, they are happy, at times. But, often they are not. The media does a good job of making many of us feel like outsiders….so, getting a reality check from web groups is a great idea.
Reason Two: Holidays are a time of community. There are many forms of community and now with social networking communities exploding on the internet, why not explore those communities?
Reason Three: Reframing our own lives is best done by listening to other people’s stories. We can step back, compare our situation by thinking about “others” and the challenges they face.
Reason Four: Get your mind off your troubles and realize that instead of doing belly button contemplation, you might be able to offer solace to someone less fortunate then you.
Reason Five: Holidays are meant to be enjoyed…oftentimes blogs offer suggestions and helpful hints that can boost your own creativity.
blog on….and share with all of us what you have discovered….
Beth
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Okay, even if this is for widow’s mostly a thought crossed my mind early this morning after I reveived a phone call and had time to think about it. So I thought maybe I would share a bit.
The phone call was a friend putting a heavy guilt trip on me and being the person I am it instantly made me mad, but at the same time I was telling her I was sorry. hmm anyway the more I thought about it the more I realized that lately (before Thanksgiving) I have turned into a huge witch. Think the broom should be about wore out already and the holiday season has just started!! Not such a bad thing because maybe without my broom I can return to a calmer, nicer state of being.
Rambling here, but hang in there, it will be over soon…
I realized after meeting with these friends that I truly do need community. But the more important part of the whole thing in my mind was that it didn’t take as much to bring me back to a ‘nicer’ state of being as it would have in years past.
I have never liked the Holiday season, but after my daughter died I HATED it and it has taken a long time for things to get to a calmer place during this time of year. Wow, progress can be made even if it isn’t on my time schedule.
You are a wise and strong person Beth, with a wonderful site here.
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.
Found this website. I am a new widow of 4 months. I am hoping to do my best thru the holidays. My husband had a major surgery the week before Christmas last year, so we only had Christmas the 2 of us. Now, I am thankful since he died in July 2010 that we had that tme. I am a little excited to be with my family for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but a little anxious that I might be a bummer if my emotions get the best of me.
My husband died October 22, 2011. This is my first thanksgiving/Christmas without him. “Normally” he and I and our kids along with their families get together on the saturday after thanksgiving for dinner and a time of laughter, games, music… And again on Christmas eve. We would have dinner, open gifts, play games, the tv would be on, music would be playing… Lots and lots of happy noise. I too had been a bit worried that my emotions may get the best of me … I held it together pretty well. When things became overwhelming for me I would leave the room until I could go back in and be okay. My kids have been awesome, my grandkids make me laugh. In one since, I’m not looking forward to starting a new year. I want my husband back. In another since, I look forward to the growth of our grandkids. Our youngest daughters 2nd baby was born 5 days after my husband died. He, along with all the rest have continued to bring joy to my hurting heart. I hope all of you had the best Christmas you could have.