Comments on: I wanna be a rock star…

By: BF

BF — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 04:38:28 +0000

I don’t know about how different a prolonged process would be, JC. I lost my mother to Shy-Drager Syndrome–a particularly virulent form of Parkinson’s–so she declined for about seven years between diagnosis and death. That time gave us–my sister, Dad, and me–time to come to terms with the inevitable outcome, time to do right by Mom, time to be sure we’d be there for each other, and so on. Nothing really prepared us for the devastation we felt when my Mom died, but we were, in a sense, prepared. We had left nothing unsaid or undone that we needed to say to or do for Mom. No regrets. I think if she’d died suddenly, we’d have had a lot of regrets, and we would not have forged the strong bonds together that are still, after three years, keeping us close, keeping us important to each other. It was heartbreaking to see my mother’s decline, and I acknowledge that if she’d died suddenly we would not have had to go through that. But on the whole, I’d prefer the lingering to the sudden shock. I’d rather be as prepared as one can be, rather than have to deal with an important loss as a shock.

By: JC

JC — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 20:56:01 +0000

How different do you think your reactions would have been if you had lost your spouse from a prolonged progressive disease process.? Do you think that you would have been able to make so many positive changes in such a relatively short period of time? I still believe that you are not only lucky but your background in helping others eased your transition into this different, but more positive area.

By: Beth Waddel

Beth Waddel — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 23:53:07 +0000

Two years ago I would not have been able to identify with being “lucky”…I sort of felt “marked.” That victim mentality stayed with me for a while. I think once realizing how easily it was to slip into that kind of dysfunctional thinking I needed to make serious changes…hence, coaching, blogging, Happiness Boot Camp. All these efforts are an attempt to “prove” that it is not what happens to us, but how we manage what happens to us. It never is the event as much as it is our reaction to the event that reveals character.

By: JC

JC — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 22:11:09 +0000

Glad to know that you enjoyed the concert so much. The historical place that James Taylor’s music has had in your life as well as the impact on your girls is very touching. In many ways you are a very lucky woman.