The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We find by Embracing Them
David Richo
Shambhala Press
Boston 2005
1. Everything changes and ends (Grace: Things renew themselves and move through cycles that furthur evolution)
2. Things do not always go according to plan ( Grace: we sometimes sense a larger plan at work through synchronicity that opens startling possibilities.)
3. Life is not always fair ( Grace: Something in us remains committed to fairness and refuses to be unjust or retalitory)
4. Suffering is a part of life (Grace: we have ways of dealing with it and thereby we expand our powers to handle further pain and help others in their pain.)
5. People are not loving and loyal all the time (Grace: nothing has to get in the way of our acting with loving-kindness and not giving up on others. No human actions can take away another human being’s capacity to love” p.XIX
So, these five statements are at the foundation of Happiness BootCamp…it’s not the event as much as our ability to cope with the event that reveals our character. So, even in the face of the most challenging transition we can take that GIVEN (no matter how grim) and paradoxically use that GIVEN as an opportunity to transform ourselves and our lives in a way that is positive.
For me, this week has been a perfect example…I had one plan, “life had another.” I could have channeled lots of energy in fighting “it is what it is”, or I could see what developed as a result of the changed plan. I much prefered the second option, although that DOES NOT MEAN I didn’t whine about it to anyone who listened.
So, think about this….
How have the following rules impacted YOU today, this week, this month….and by embracing the paradox of grace, how has your life been transformed? Or, have you spent time being miserable by raging against the unfairness?
Happiness tip: Acceptance.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
One tip at a time can make a difference…
My question for all of you is: If we were to work at these boot camp tips faithfully in our daily lives, would they at some point become an automatic way for us to react? Instead of something that I for one have to force myself to think about.
I’m thinking it is possible: For example for most of the years of my life I have reacted to EVERYTHING in my life with anger and rage. It didn’t matter that there were other feelings or events that were happening my reactions were always anger and rage. Not so much anymore though.
Don’t think that I ever want to feel to the same extent those two feelings or emotions that drove me during Vicky’s illness and then her death.
Emotions for me are very draining, yes, even the good ones, but not as much as the negative.
Absolutely…leads me to my next post…
Rituals for happiness