This entry was posted on Thursday, September 27th, 2007 at 12:35 pm and is filed under Positive Psychology Tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
We are all familiar with “fight/flight” relative to stress research. But, interestingly, now researchers are discovering that the fight/flight model was based on male subjects and NOT on female subjects.
Research done at UCLA suggests that women have a different response to stress. Researchers are labeling that response set “tend and befriend.” So, that instead of either fighting or fleeing, women have a need during stress to bring people closer…only connect.
This is challenging to do in a world that is full of business and stress.
Look at your own network of support, or if you have limited support, start challenging yourself to develop new avenues for that support.
There are several ways people show us social support during stressful times:
Friends who provide us with feedback and affirmation (Cheerleaders)
Friends who provide us with empathy, nurturing, , caring and trust (Cozy Blankets)
Friends who provide us with information, suggestions, solutions (Internet Queens)
Friends who provide us with concrete aid and service (Worker Bees)
Challenge, who is in your support arsenal? What kind of support are you? Are there relationships you wish to cultivate?
read comments (4)
September 28th, 2007 at 11:08 am
Hmm, Not sure what kind of support I am or that I provide, if any.
However I do believe that I have the cozy blanket and internet queen giving me lots of support.
But I think maybe it would be good to have all of the support types in my life. Wonder if that is possible.
Food for thought while I’m in Montana this weekend.
Lorri
October 1st, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Well, poop! Now I have to think of myself as being a woman trapped in a mans body.
My significant other exhibits the male characteristics you mentioned, and I exhibit the female ones. I guess women don’t have life any easier, just different coping strategies. I wish letting her wear the pants in the relationship automatically meant we were a good match. Something tells me there is a little more to it than that though.
October 2nd, 2007 at 10:09 pm
Stepmomma, this blog is awesome! Good job! There should be a wine company called “Cozy Blanket.” Let’s start one, okay?
I ran into a woman I know whose father died a month ago. We made small talk for a while and at then end she grabbed my arm and said, “This gets easier, right? Doesn’t it? Please tell me it gets easier.” It was heartbreaking. I said yes, it changes after a while, but you have to let it be horrible first.
Maggie
October 20th, 2007 at 12:00 am
I suffered an intense emotional grieving experience alone for several months and when I finally did reach out to friends I felt such a sense of relief. I’m sure I’m a cozy blanket first, definitely a good cheerleader and also a worker bee. Reading your blog Beth is such a help. Thank you from my heart for all that you do in your chosen helping profession. Congrats on following a new path.